A friend of mine recently said that I blog only about truths that are acceptable by most, and so there is really nothing to comment on or dispute. My position is that, indeed, I am writing mostly to inform, remind, reassure and sometimes even persuade, rather than to contest a point of view. And true, because we all have our points of view that are crying out to be heard, such divergence is what excite people for that is where polemic reigns and everyone is ready for taking up that differing point of view. Varying views are what makes a discussion interesting and draws many to the table or keyboard, and if the discussion can find a common thread of thought, it can lead to convergences of views ultimately. For this to happen however, we must be in the mental mode of seeking solutions.
Taking this to the social stage, many a time, our variant views seem as positions that we take as mental barriers that others may not cross –points of view that signals a certain finality that we would not like contravened as if bolstered by an unwavering ego. When a point of view is dropped with a predetermined assumption behind it, an opposing comment is bound to be an irritant rather than a salve. Unfortunately, most of our discussions are, as the word denotes, arguments that “dashes to pieces” varying points of view. In this mode of confrontation and seeking to win, no side is willing to go towards an agreement. If at all there is one, such an agreement will be a negotiated understanding that vouches shared benefits. So the ego wins again --there is no shame that any one side has to bear that will stand out as a loss, for its all right for the ego as long as it does not lose the battle.
But just as in writing, in our verbal discussions too, it would be wiser to move the discussion mode to the dialogue mode. Yes, there is a difference. As opposed to discussion that signifies argument and left brain sense, dialogue is about “letting the knowledge flow through’ which signifies a need to listen to the other point of view for its inherent truths. Immersed in such a mode, other points of view come as requests for clarifications or supplementary comments that help to tweak out differences or support the similarities; an effort to understand and accept rather than dispute and reject. It’s only in this latter state of our minds, can we bring harmony to our society and hope for a blissful future. Nature works this way, never disputing but accepting the myriad diversity it has in it to bring the unity we observe everyday to give us the services for us to stay alive – and unconditionally. That is the unity we can take example from.
3 comments:
There are so much in us that unite us, but the sad reality is we always keeping looking and harping on those issues we differ ONLY in opinion.
what madness. There is no other world, no other race only the human race. The diversity is our beauty lets appreciate and celebrate the wonder of GOD's creation.
I hope others can get into this dialogue! Can we sincerly take the time to reflect on why we are so angry at each other? can anger neutralize anger? Plain as the answer maybe, our ego does not allow us to relent. Where does that bloated ego come from? If only we can become aware of its game and the folly of it can we begin to heal.
Anger, Jealousy, Ego are some relevant "social behavior" which we exhibit from time to time. It's bound to happen.
The unfortunate part is we are not trained to deal with it well. For this the Brain is to be blamed too as the BDNF or the chemicals responsible to give us clear vision and thinking at these stress point themselves go very low!
For the kiddos the neuroscience experts have some advice like:
1) label the feeling 2) verbalize it e.g. when your kid is upset about something and you get to know that it's because his friend has got a cool gadget. Ask your kid to verbalize it and label it...yeah yeah that's called jealousy, champ.
by doing so the kid's brain get trained in handling these stress points.
For the not so kiddo chaps i guess it's not a matter of education but what kind of training (rigorous) be designed to correct our social behaviors.
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