My friend complains to me about the encroaching marital issues in his life. The skirmishes increase he says - even after all these years! That is a part of life I tell him; nothing is ever as was; life is dynamic and we have to learn to manage that dynamic!
Our coming together as a twosome in holy matrimony is often an exercise in the meeting of eyes. Yes, more often than not the initial attraction is physical, not deeper or as some call spiritual. Yes, it is a meeting of the egos than of the soul. We are often swept off our feet by the attraction of the physical, but alas, that which wanes, for the physical body wanes with time in this world of form. Yet this seems to be our youthful focus. Little do we reflect on the fact of what sustains a relationship being how two souls gel. The ego is forever craving and demanding while the soul is totally satisfied with its given attributes, and so is devoid of the demanding and competitiveness that is the character of the ego that drives the motive for the glitter of the world of form.
So the solution to the bickering that is rife in many marital relationships can be addressed by being aware of this dynamic and not blaming each other for their present situation, and attempting consciously to understand that this is the test given in our lives that we must work to pass with distinction. And this agony of a hurtful future can be predominantly avoided only by selecting a "good" spouse - or soul mate - consciously. Remember, behind every successful man there is a caring wife! And the other way round too I would say. This requires the effort of being able to rise above that ephemeral skin-deep beauty or brawn that the ego seeks but having the courage of the heart to dive deeper to find that ethereal beauty that lies beneath and that which is unchanging and everlasting.
For achieving this we have to say no to our ego and yes to our soul.