The family is the building block of society, and over time immemorial, nurturing of children in preparation of another responsible generation has been priority. However, in a globalizing world with many distractions for parents and children alike, the consistency and intensity of family effort has varied or waned and it now seems adrift away with the tide for children to learn life values and the ideals of integrity from peers or from the internet. And this has its verified dangers.
We always hear that nurturing happens when quality time is
spent with the object of our nurturing. Whether it is to nurture an attitude or
skill within us or nurture our children with good values and humane feelings,
we need to spend time communicating with ourselves or our children the
knowledge and feelings that magnify the attitude we want to hone.
But of course, spending time is a general term and many of
us feel that just being present with our children is enough to make them feel
cared for. Present thinking doesn’t go with this norm. It is now a universal
awareness in these circles that nurturing requires spending quality time. This
is different to just being with the child or us reading about something. It
requires engagement in conscious thought or conversation. The need is to have
the communication loop completed and continued for some extended time. It is
not enough for a parent to be at home when the child is around, but needs to be
engaged with the child in active communication and for the child to be aware
that the parent is showing active concern. A cursory ask of how school was
today, or a query on how was the game today, may not be enough especially when
the parent asks in an act of boring routine.
Quality time engages the heart more than the mind. That is
why going out for a walk with your children and doing the things they enjoy
will kindle and bind your relationship and these moments become engraved in
their memory as moments they will cherish as adults. These are the morsels they
carry in their life to give them inspiration and the connection with us in love
or admiration for the role model we show. The result will be a better community
we leave behind. How many parents spend meal times talking to the phone rather
than to the child? How many hours are spent on our computer or our eyes glued
to the TV while the kids spend their time with the toys we had given them -- as
if the guilt of our neglect will be allayed by the expensive toys we give them
and then expect, like a miracle, our children become the characterful human
beings we want them to be? No dear parents, they need our attention. We need to
sacrifice more of our time to them before they grow up and begin to say they
don't need us anymore. Yes, there will be no use crying over spilt milk. Please
listen to the song “cat's in the cradle”. It may bring tears to many regretful
eyes.
These and many other new habits in our daily life distance
us from our children who will doubtlessly be the torchbearers of tomorrow. How
many of us care for a better tomorrow for our children? If so we need to
reflect on what we are doing today to prepare for that tomorrow.
6 comments:
We found a new toy "Money" it's impossible to undo the effect anymore with magnifying trend all around each and almost every one of us falling victim to "Money". well said!
Dear Anonymous, true the solution seems unfathomable given the nature of this trend of materialism that has invaded our midst in the name of "Development". Only a new mindset can take us to the solution. And there must be a solution. One great mind said, "a the mind that caused the problem cannot be expected to find the solution" It will require another type of mind. Sadly that type of mind is still to be nurtured in our society. In our schools and our homes!! everyone must contribute to finding it.
It was a good read, after a long time. Thank you for the prompt, Sir.
Thanks Shihab for your appreciation. will try to get you more frequent postings inshaAllah.
Start, this is the most timely message we the parents can expect and cherish on the dawning of New Year. This could be amazing and rewarding resolution for the young and busy parents at least.
Our best wishes for you and family for the New Year 2016 and keep posting such messages to awaken our consciousness
Thanks Surinder, the best of Salaams to you for the new year. May our paths cross more frequently.
Post a Comment